Although it is not a familiar idea in our country, it is slowly gaining popularity
Today, marriage is more than just love. Besides compatibility, love and companionship, marriage is also a contract. With divorce rates higher than the Empire State building, couples are saying “I do’’ with a lot more caution.
While the concept of prenup is relatively new and uncommon in India, it is gaining popularity and becoming the preferred choice for those who come from wealthier backgrounds — remember the famed Bezos alimony settlement and Joli-Pitt separation? The underlying question here is, should you get a prenup?
A prenup or a prenuptial agreement is a private agreement between a couple, signed before they get married, which sets forth the division of their assets in the event of a divorce or death. Although not a familiar idea in India, it is gaining acceptance. In the absence of a specific prenup, the law generally leaves both partners with a 50-50 share of assets. Prenups can help a couple decide and personalise these very laws to what is fit and fair for the relationship. The couple can decide to waive the alimony, keep premarital assets as separate property, or compensation for children that may be a result of the union.
To begin with, many argue that if a couple is secure in the marriage, what is the problem with a little documentational formality? In fact, a prenup would force tobe-weds to have a conversation about money in a way that is neither necessary nor possible otherwise. With a prenup, both parties can understand what they are merging their assets into, what they are liable for and what they have claimed for themselves and their new family. A marriage is a team-work that becomes smoother when everything is out on the table for both in it to see.
It is best if a couple has an awkward conversation about money in vivid detail than walk into the marriage without one. It is a commitment to the growth of the relationship in its own right, being so sure of the relationship to disclose and share one’s financial life and being so respectful of the partner to draw up something fair even when they are not partners anymore.
Divorce and death
Another argument commonly used in favour of getting one is to make sure that things don’t get ugly if the marriage is to end. Close to 40 per cent of marriages in metropolitan cities of today end in divorce and the rest, in death. It is, therefore, for everyone’s good to decide what happens after either of the two unfortunate circumstances. It would make the unpredictable less of a shock.
You can make plausible outcomes solid while in love and therefore, be kinder, reasonable and have a sense of responsibility towards each other to avoid things getting ugly in case of a divorce. A prenup is a way like no other to ensure a noiseless separation. Screaming from across the table, trying to take the other for all they have out of sheer spite or contempt, does not honour the time spent together.
Prenup – a pet concept?
And the reality is, sometimes, people change or are never who we think they are to, begin with. If things go south, for reasons you can and can’t control, a safety net to fall into can mean a world of a difference. You don’t have to think that you and your partner will end up divorced, just because you have a prenup. Think of it as preparing well in advance, should there be a “what if” situation. It is true that those against prenups often refer to it as having a foot out of the door. It might feel like the relationship is a little more dispensable and easier to end when the going gets tough. But it need not be so. It’s always good to be prepared to avoid heartbreak and a feeling of being cheated, emotionally and with regard to assets.
To sign or not to sign?
It is better to have a prenup and not need it than the other way around. If you are contemplating one, know that it has to be done way in advance and cannot be sprung a week before the wedding. A prenup needs to be thought of, discussed, made and signed long before tying the knot. It is not just for the sake of clarity. A prenup could be disregarded by the court if the period between one and the wedding seems abrupt.
CREDIT : Pune Mirror
