A couple of months before the pandemic-induced lockdown two years ago, Neena Tandon (name changed), a 39-year-old IT professional from Bengaluru, moved to Delhi to take care of her ailing mother. However, even after the lockdown restrictions were lifted, Tandon had to stay on because her mother’s health did not improve, while her husband—an artist by profession—continued to stay in Bengaluru where they had started their married life and had lived for the past 15 years. In the last two years, the long distance separating the two, increasing stress at work, responsibilities of each other’s ageing parents and unfulfilled expectations from one another led to frequent misunderstandings, fights and increasing bitterness. Things reached an impasse, where both partners felt a mutual divorce is in the best interest of everyone.
The rising stress levels post pandemic, increased tension on home front, and lowering of tolerance threshold for many amid anxiety and uncertainty is leading to a boom in the number of divorce cases among working professionals in the country, say lawyers and mental health experts ET spoke to. There is a 50-60% increase in divorce cases in the last one year, according to lawyers and legal consulting firms.
“Before the pandemic, people were going through the motions of life with many not putting much thought into what really makes them happy… the pandemic has changed people’s perspective towards life,” says Archana Bisht , director at mental health company 1to1help.net.
“The realisation that life is short and unpredictable is making people more self-aware and focus on self-preservation, prompting many to walk their own paths and follow their individual goals, thus leading to an alarming rise in divorce and mutual separation—especially since the second wave of the pandemic,” adds Bisht, who says the biggest reason people reach out for counselling these days is marital discord.
Ishika Tolani, practising advocate at Family Court in Mumbai, says she is witnessing a huge spike in the number of professionals seeking divorce where the primary reasons are incompatibility, lack of shared interest, communication gap and decreasing tolerance levels.
Tolani has seen a 50% rise in the filing of divorce petitions in the last one year. “We have seen a rise of addiction, infidelity or cheating, and lack of physical intimacy among couples as the core reasons for seeking a divorce,” she says. Such issues persisted even earlier, but now it’s more glaring, she adds.
“Professionals particularly those who have long working hours, spend a lot of time with colleagues and clients, many end up with broken homes as they get involved with colleagues or friends they make along the way,” said Sameer Tapia, founder of ALMT Legal.
Mental health experts too say they are flooded with cases involving marital discord and serious relationship disharmonies with an increase in the number of cases of couple therapy.
Amit Malik , founder and CEO of InnerHour , says the pandemic has changed the role expectation between partners and has shown that responsibilities—such as household chores—are not gender-specific. “Last two years have been tough for many—work from home set-ups, lack of private space, and the uncertainties around the pandemic spurred frequent tensions. Many who were caught in an unhealthy relationship started having more disagreements and arguments and even domestic abuse,” says Malik.
There is also a 30-40% increase in mental health disorders post pandemic, which makes it even harder for people to compromise in a relationship. Moreover, there are an increasing number of women with financial freedom who do not want to remain stuck in abusive, unhappy marriages, says Malik.
Legal practice management startup Legalkart has seen the number of queries related to separation and divorce increase by about 25% between January and May this year compared to a year ago. There were about 17,000 such queries for legal assistance on the platform during January-May, where 38% enquiries were from women and 62% from men.
“There is a rise in mutual consent divorce cases instead of contested divorce mainly due to awareness about the legal procedures and cost and time that may go in a contested divorce,” says Arvind Singhatiya, founder and CEO, LegalKart.
That apart, the stigma around divorce has reduced and accessibility to joint conversation and therapists has increased. Many couples are also seeking mutual separation, says Priyanka Sinha, partner at law firm A&P Partners.
Source : https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/india/divorces-among-pros-zoom-amid-pandemic-induced-gloom/articleshow/92777259.cms?from=mdr
